Week 7 Dying & Spirituality-AKEL

           

DYING & SPIRITUALITY

As we come to the end of our Lifespan Development textbook, we also come to the end of the actual human lifespan development, death. The average life expectancy has been reported to be 78 years. As death has once been a subject that was always avoided, it has been more approachable in recent years. There are four types of death:

1. Clinical Death-when the individual's respiration & heartbeat have stopped
2. Brain Death-when the brain fails to receive sufficient supply of oxygen (takes 8-10 minutes)
3. Biological/Cellular Death-when cells begin to die from lack of oxygen
4. Social Death-when a patient is treated as a corpse, although still "clinically" or "biologically" alive

Grief is an emotional response to the loss of a loved one. Feelings of grief may include anxiety, despair, sadness, and loneliness. Psychologists have determined that the stages of grief are healthy and only natural to encounter. Anticipatory grief is the type of grief that is experienced before the death of a person. Four phases of this kind of grief is as follows:
1.      Depression
2.      Heightened concern for the ill person
3.      A rehearsal of death
4.      An attempt to adjust to what is likely to occur after death

Anticipatory grief comes into play when the death of a loved one is expected to happen, rather than sudden deaths. One has no time to go through these phases with an unexpected death. 

Different cultures and religions in the world have their own way with mourning for the loss of a loved one. Mourning over the dead is allowed in Islam, but there is a difference between what is allowed and what is prohibited. Grief at the death of a beloved person is normal, and weeping for the dead is allowed in Islam. A Muslim is also to mourn for 3 days in which those 3 days are open to friends and family. What is prohibited is to express grief by wailing (mourning in a loud voice), or hitting oneself. 

Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross is famous for her 5stage-theory describing the emotions that one goes through while dying. The stages are:
1.      Denial
2.      Anger
3.      Bargaining
4.      Depression
5.      Acceptance

Although these stages are for the person that is dealing with their death, I feel like these stages are also used for people that are dealing with a loved one that is/has dying/passed away.

When my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer, she was first given the option of surgery. Exactly a week after her diagnosis, we were told that it had spread to most of her organs and it wouldn’t be long until it would take her life. At her first appointment, the doctor told her the shocking news and she took it very hard. She didn’t eat, sleep, or enjoy anyone’s presence for a week. At her second appointment, we told the doctor what had happened and asked him to tell her that it was a misdiagnosis. She went home happy. She joined us at the dinner table. She played with her great grandchildren. She enjoyed her last month on earth. Although she was under the impression she was okay, we still had hospice visit her 3 times a week. There were days when she had so much energy she would get off her bed and walk around her home without her cane. And other days when she was miserable and wished she would pass. The pain she was in was unbearable, but morphine drops helped a lot. I am happy I never left her side. Her children and grandchildren worked like clockwork. We made sure she was always comfortable, and not feel an ounce of loneliness. I believe we made the right decision by not telling her the news. It would have taken her quicker than what the doctor expected it would take. Cancer took her life in a matter of a month. Our family was devastated, but we coped with it. We had several ways of coping that made her passing bearable. I’ve always believed that sudden deaths are the most painful versus the ones that are given a time frame. You are spending every minute with that person, and preparing yourself. Her passing was so peaceful and beautiful. I miss her dearly and hope to see her again in heaven.  
 

Week 6- Early & Middle Adulthood-AKEL

EARLY & MIDDLE ADULTHOOD

Adulthood is distinguished by social and cultural experiences, unlike adolescence which is distinguished by physical changes and capabilities. The transitioning from adolescence to adulthood 18-25. Malcolm Knowles identified the biopsychosocial facets of adulthood as:

1.      Biological-when we reach the age to reproduce

2.      Psychological-self-concept of being responsible of our own lives

3.      Social-when we start to take on adult roles and responsibilities. 

I was a taken back to read that our muscles and bones start to deteriorate approximately 1% per year after the age of 30. It was quite alarming to read up on date rape. Date rape is coercive sexual activity between a victim and an offender who is known or an acquaintance. Male undergraduates said rape would occur in the following circumstances:

1.      If a couple went to the man’s house after the date

2.      If the women initiated the date

3.      If the man paid for the expenses

I don’t understand why the man would think he can rape or even lay a finger on her without her consent in return when he pays for the meal or treats her to something nice. Cognitive Development plays a role in adulthood, of course. In early adulthood, people can capitalize on the life experiences they’ve gained prior and during adolescence. Our main man Piaget is reintroduced in chapter 9. He argues that young adults possess more knowledge than adolescents, especially in certain areas of interests. He does make sense since age does play a part. The older you are the wiser you (hopefully) get. Theorists believed that there should be a cognitive development stage after Piaget’s stage of formal operations, so people can acknowledge the relativistic nature of problems and answers. William Perry did a case study in the 1950’s and 60’s on several hundred Harvard students between the ages of 17-22. He studied their intellectual and ethical development. His theory was criticized because the tests were done on male. We were then introduced to Sandra Bem who was a gender role researcher who believed we would all be much better off if most behaviors were viewed appropriate to both sexes.

Social Development also plays a part in adulthood. Adults tend to develop a separate and special personality, it is derived less and less from our parents and teachers and more from our behavior, also known as individuation. Daniel Levinson found that age 30 is a common time for people to reexamine their feels about major life tasks. I whole heartedly agree with this hence I’m back in school at 31 pursuing what truly makes me happy. The more I read up on Erikson, the more I am intrigued by the fellow. His 6^th stage intimacy vs. isolation plays a part in adulthood. On page 219 he describes this stage as, “The young adult, emerging from the search for and the insistence on identity, is eager and willing to fuse his identity with others. He is ready for intimacy, that is, the capacity to commit himself to concrete affiliations and partnerships and to develop the ethical strength to abide by such commitments, even though they call for significant sacrifices and compromises”. By intimacy he means the ability to relate to one’s deepest hopes and fears to another person and to accept another’s need for intimacy in turn. 

I must pause and say how much I loved what Fiore says about validation. This sentence stuck out and paved its way in me. On page 221 she says, “Validation is essential to our sanity”. Validation was probably used in a positive way here, but the way I wanted to understand it as we may always seek validation from people who don’t care as much about us as we do about them. And we are always doing our very best to get some sort of approval, token of appreciation or an ounce of love back for the sake of our sanity.… Okay, I’ll carry on…

The chapter goes on to talk about the rates of single parents and divorces have increased over the past years. They also mention same sex relationships. Figure 9.8 shows that there are more states in the US that legalize first cousin marriages than states that legalize same sex marriage which statistics should be the other way around in my opinion. 

I will briefly summarize chapter 10 since I enjoyed chapter 9 a little too much as I connected so well to it. 

Chapter 10 discusses the slow deterioration of our health, our vision, our hearing. Hormone replacement therapy is offered to women that have reached menopause. We are introduced to several types of intelligence. Fluid, crystalized, analytical, creative, and practical. Fluid tends to decline starting from middle adulthood. Crystalized increases throughout the lifespan. Chapter also discusses stress and how adults are usually expected to deal with it entirely on our own. Stressors that individualize experience including poverty, chronic illness, and divorce is known as Risk factors. Protective factors are characteristics of resilient individuals that protect themselves from stress. This chapter was a bit sad because the more I read, the more it described my parents, or elders that I love and respect in my life. We tend to forget as we grow older, they do too.

Week 5-Adolescence-the awkward stage-AKEL

ADOLESCENCE

The stage of adolescence! The time when one discovers him/herself. The time when the body, mind and soul grow. Oh, and of course the time when shaving, stress, acne, condoms, and feeling grows for opposite/same sex are introduced. You may not need to use condoms at this age, but sex education is/should definitely be brought up at home or school. Your identity becomes clearer. You’re on your way to adulthood! Don’t get too excited though, it’s not as grand as you think it is.

According to Frank Wedekind and Lewis Carroll, adolescence does not come with a specific age start (Fiore, 2011, pg.186). The entry to adolescence triggers the biological, psychological, and social transitions. It can range from a girls first menstrual cycle, also known as menarche or to male’s first ejaculation, to when your pubic hair begins to show, or have interest in dating/sex. Because of the amount of change a person can experience in physical, cognitive, and social areas, psychologist G. Stanly Hall offered a theory that links to adolescence which is “storm & stress” (Fiore, 201l, pg. 187). I thought this theory perfectly describes this stage of human development.

With physical, emotional, and behavior changes at this stage, comes wanting to fit in and judging themselves, and dissatisfaction with self-appearance. One may pick up a very unhealthy/bad habit of an eating disorder such as bulimia nervosa or anorexia nervosa. Bulimia consists of binge eating followed by purging. Anorexia is characterized by an abnormally low body weight; calorie intake is severely reduced.

 As one grows in this stage, so does their parietal and frontal lobes of the brain which makes a drastic change in the way adolescents think. The ability to think during early and middle adolescence brings us to Piaget’s 4^th and last step of his theory also known as the formal operational stage. Piaget was first to note that adolescents fixed towards democratic values because of this new thinking capacity (Fiore, 2011, pg. 191). 

Issues of independence, identity, sexuality, social life, drugs, alcohol, and schoolwork can occur in this transitional period. Romantic interests, and cliques tend to naturally grow in importance for some time during a teens journey to adulthood. This period of change in adolescence and the stability of school, family, or even priorities are about to change for individuals as they move to the next stage of early/middle adulthood. Buckle up! It’s going to be one bumpy ride!

Week 4- Early & Middle Childhood Development -AKEL

Early & Middle Childhood Development

As we wrap up with the previous chapters of birth, newborn, & infancy, we move on to 

early and middle childhood development. Things get a bit interesting as with every chapter we are introduced to, I am reminded of my own child’s development, and it is always nice to learn something new and incorporate it in her/my daily life. We are first introduced in chapter 6 to Selma Fraiberg who describes the ages from 2 to 6 as “The magic years” (Fraiberg, 1959). Indeed, these years are quite magical, and the little kiddos never seize to amaze us with their wittiness and their charming personality. We truly underestimate them, and they know more than we think they know. I’ve always believed their brain around this time is like a sponge. They absorb any and every like information that they are exposed to (good or bad).

Piaget’s 2^nd stage of preoperational period comes into play during this time in a child’s life. Children are at a level of thinking that precedes operational thought; they are familiarized with symbols to signify objects and events in place of setting. (Fiore, 2011, pg. 133).

Activities of preoperational children consists of:

1.      Animism-When children think objects have feelings

2.      Defined imitation-Imitating an action or event they have witnessed

3.      Symbolic play-an object can represent a different object in the play scenario

An example of symbolic play (but really has nothing to do with playing) I think is over the summer when I lost my grandmother to cancer, it took a toll on my daughter since the last 2 months was spent with her, as my aunts and myself took turns taking care of her. Of course, my daughter was by my side helping out. My grandmother and daughter had such a strong bond and truly believe it will never be broken, and although she’s only 3 years old, I believe she will never forget her either. Getting to the point, every time we pass a cemetery, it reminds my little girl of her great grandmother and automatically assumes that’s where she is laid to rest. We can pass 2-3 cemeteries and my daughter assumes my grandmother is in all 3 places. I found that very smart of her to think that way. The symbol of any cemetery represents my grandmother. Just to make a note, my child is always asking about God, death, and what is her great grandmother doing at the moment. It is only natural I believe to ask so many questions at this age as they want to know everything.

I believe that around early childhood and sometimes middle childhood time of one’s life is when they are being molded into the person they want to be. Through the parents and teacher’s guidance, and not with force, and positive reinforcement in a child’s environment, they can shape themselves into the best person they can possibly be.